He hoped her smile meant something good, like he hadn't offended her by asking about her drinking. He hadn't meant anything by it.
Don't screw this up. She's giving off so many โfuck me' vibes.
In an attempt to change the subject, he asked, "So, what do you do?" but the look he got back from her wasโฆweird. Her eyes dropped to the table and the corners of her mouth pulled down and when she looked back up she was sucking on that plump bottom lip of hers.
"Right now... well, right now is truly a new start. I've been in Orlando, literally, for four days. I don't do anything, yet. And I don't know what I want to do, but in a previous life, I was a bartender. This place kind of makes me want to be one again."
"The Patron lecture. I get it, now." Shelby laughed, picking salt off of the rim of her glass with a finger, then poking it into her mouth and licking it off. He couldn't take his eyes off of that finger.
ย "Forgive me; I'm a little bit of a know-it-all. Can't help it, I was trained by one."
"I didn't say you didn't know your stuff. So, maybe you'll go back to tending bar? One of my buddies owns this place. I could introduce you. If you're interested."
She stared blankly, speechless for a moment, then stuttered out a few words of gratitude.
"I understand where you're coming from. You know, the... not knowing what you want to do. I'm trying to do something different. I don't know how this is going to work out."
"You don't like what you do? You seem good at it."
"Yeah, I mean...I wouldn't do it, otherwise. I've been doing it so long. I feel like I need something more; something to push me and make me do things I don't think I can actually do. So that's why I'm back here. To fail at something. If that makes any sense."
She nodded. "Rod seems like a piece of work. It can't help that you're working with him."
"He has a reputation, for sure." Jackson hated to talk badly about people; it had a way of getting around, but she had a point and Rod made it hard to argue with her. "We go way back. Rod, the guy that owns this bar and I all met back in my KidTV days. His show was on the set next to ours, so we got to hang out quite a bit and we've been friends ever since. He's a good guy, deep down. He has to play the game though, you know? You're young; you've got more money than God and more power than you've ever had in your life. There are needs and wants and it's fun to satisfy them."
Jackson glanced up at Shelby, finding her paying rapt attention. He winked and reached for the empty shot glass, mindlessly picking the salt off of it while he kept talking. "The record label tells you to go spend your money. Cause some trouble; get your name in the paper. But not too much, don't drag our rep down. And there's no one around to tell you no. It's as fun as it sounds."
"I'm enjoying myself tonight. So, let's make a pact. We can talk, but no pasts, no futures. I want to concentrate on this. On you. For sure, you don't want to talk about who you used to be. And what you're running from. Right?"
"Yeah..." Shelby nodded, her eyes downcast, again. Something in her tone told him she understood all too well what he meant. "That has to get old, though."
"Eventually." He relaxed, tossing a muscular arm across the back of the booth. "It becomes status quo pretty soon and the money isn't entertaining enough. After you buy all the shit you never could buy before, what else is there to waste money on but coke, booze and chicks? It's no wonder people get caught up in drugs and sex and all that. And right now, Rod is running the race; trying to suck all the fun out of it before it gets old. Before showing up to an event is work and not a good time. Like right now, we have an album we're writing. We're redoing some of his old stuff and putting together a tour. When I see you at five in the morning, I'm just leaving the studio. That's work, not play. That's why you have to love what you do."
"I see."
Jackson rambled and Shelby stared while he rambled, but not wide eyed, this time. There was understanding and a little commiseration. Still, he felt bad about dominating the conversation and talking so much. It was a habit that he had never been able to break.
ย "Sorry," he said, "for going on and on. I tend to do that. Ask me about the weather, and I'll probably answer with something like,ย โYou know what I read about clouds...'ย and I won't shut up for a while."
He blushed and sucked down a long swallow of his beer. Stalling so he didn't keep talking.
Shelby laughed. "I don't mind at all. Talk away."
"Well, you talk some, now. I don't want to hog the conversation."
"Okay," said Shelby, playing with her nearly empty bottle, rolling it around the table, back and forth, in an arc. "What do you want to know?"
"Well, you said this morning that you don't sleep well. Any reason? Or is that a dumb question, because if you knew, you'd be able to sleep?"
There it was again. That look, the downturn and the hiding her eyes. Stop doing that,ย he screamed at himself, even though he had no idea what he was doing to make that happen. He was asking questions.
"Okay, you know what?" She sat forward, her arms resting on the table, her hands reaching across and long, thin fingers playing with his. "I'm enjoying myself tonight. So, let's make a pact. We can talk, but no pasts, no futures. There are reasons I don't sleep. I'm thinking about them a lot tonight and I don't want to. I want to concentrate on this. On you. For sure, you don't want to talk about who you used to be. And what you're running from. Right?"
He was mesmerized by her, by her take-charge attitude and that she didn't seem shy at all. And now there was added mystery. ย
"Deal," he said, looping one of his fingers around one of hers and leaving it there. "So can I ask about your family? Or does that count as past?"
She beamed a forgiving smile. "What do you want to know?"
"Do they live here?"
She shook her head, tipping the bottle to her lips with her free hand. She didn't seem to want him to let go of the other one, so he didn't. "Miami," she said after a swallow. "Retired. I'm an only child, born to my parents late in life. They weren't supposed to be able to have me."
"Really? How was that?"
She shrugged. "I never knew any different. I thought everyone's dad had grey hair and took Geritol."
He laughed, long and hard. She was the best kind of funny, without trying to be.
"Your family lives here, in Orlando, right?"
"They do," he answered with a nod. "Real close, so that's another nice thing about being back here. My sister moved back after college and uh, my brother moved back last year. I'm the last kid to return to the roost, I guess. Even if it's only temporary."
Shelby drew her lips in, pressed them together and nodded. "So you will be going back to LA, eventually."
"Uhm... future," he answered, pointing at her with the neck of his bottle. She dipped her head and giggled. At that very moment, he wasn't at all sure that he'd be going back to LA. Who knew how Orlando would grow on him after a year? Not only was his family in Orlando, but his real, true, knew-him-before-he-was-a-big-shot friends were there. And Kyle and Jason, his closest friends from Boy Wonder still lived there and were thriving.
LA was great when you could keep up with the lifestyle, but he was in his thirties and already more mature than the general population. It was its own corner of the Universe, its own ecosystem and style and mode of living. He didn't have the energy for it anymore. The slow pace of Orlando, the even slower pace of quaint Winter Park, the lack of press and the feeling of more privacy in the last four days than he'd had in the last ten years was nice. He could get used to it. And it wasn't like LA wasn't a flight away if needed to get there in a hurry.
And then there was this intriguing woman sitting in front of him. She had potential, if he decided to stay.
A bold statement about unusual athletic ability led to a dart tournament in which Shelby beat him by a mile. He wasn't much into darts, but if he'd wanted to win, he could have. He wanted an excuse to stand behind her, checking out the sheer blouse she wore, imagining his hands up under it. Watching her hair swing and the line of her body as she threw dart after dart. And of course that perfect round ass. After three games, unfortunately, she was tired. They returned the dart set to the bartender and made their way to the door.
It was warm and the streets were busy, crawling with people going in and out of bars and clubs and shops and stores. They stood around the entrance for a few minutes making small talk, doing a lot of flirting. She didn't seem to want the date to be over either.
"Soโฆare you hungry?"
To his surprise, she shrugged. Girls always liked to eat. Especially if he was paying. "Not really. I could go for dessert, though." ย For a second, he thought she was hinting and maybe heย could ask her back to his place. Then he realized she meant actual dessert.ย Damn.
"Okay, so here's a warning. I can be a pig when it comes to dessert." Again, he cursed the fact that he wasn't in LA. Sweet Love Hangover was the best post-date diner in Los Angeles.ย A familiar sign jutted out of a building a few blocks away. "Dessert Lady is down the street a ways. Her chocolate cake kicks ass."
Shelby's eyes brightened and she smiled a smile that made his heart happy. She reached for him, running her fingers down his arm, her nails dragging along his bare skin until they reached his palm, then tucked her fingers between his. They stood on the sidewalk for a few seconds before she looked up at him, one eyebrow raised.
"Lead the way," she said.
God, her voice. She was a little hoarse after having to yell over music for a while. It gave her a perfect toneโsmoky and sultry, not high and chirpy. Jackson swallowed, winding his fingers around hers and walking with her down the street, mindless conversation coming out of his mouth.
Filthy thoughts running through his head.